The ER

I ,@ this moment, find myself in the emergency room for the second time in the last 1.5weeks. I Loath ER! The last trip had me taking my panic ridden, barely breathing father to the Alec . I really hate it there because that is where under the direction of a ccrotchety nurse, and against my better judgement, I lost my baby and no choice but to flush her tiny, very tiny, being down a hospital toilet. I hate the Alec.

Tonight I find myself at the U. Typically not a trigger for me. Other than the fact that Gran died here, I find it a decent place. It is the place that saved my husband as a child and likewise my Timby, but it is an ER. And the wait is insane!
Sitting here, catching up on email and bogs, ( yay iPhone) a frantic couple comes in. And I know, even before I see the blood and cots dripping down her legs and soaking through her beautiful skirt, she is loosing her child.
That's what I find the most hard, that in any moment, on any given day-BOOM! There is the memory, there come the tears, the pain & the nurses snarky voice saying " well you could go home, but if you could save this pregnancy, wouldn't you want to at least try?"

I LOATH the ER!

Lynsae?

Come out - come out wherever you are!
One day I will return when I feel I can. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
I am just too busy and overtaken by life that I just Have nothing else to offer up.