but i don't hear wedding bells...

many days i have thought of wonderful posts to write. about little moments in the day, about the amount of stuff i am doing, about living in the moment or of the things i am dreaming of. but alas the duties of the week took up all the time and here we are nearly half way through another week. how the heck did that happen? i have heard myself describing my last week several times to being about as stressful as the week leading up to my wedding. and that still feels like an accurate description. and maybe not everyone had that kinds of pre-wedding week but mine was a stressful event. in fact i vividly remember my maid of honor taking a break from it all, and my mother tearing the phone out my hands and firmly speaking into it at Jereme while looking deep into my eyes and telling us to get it together and to start working as a team or she damn well was calling the whole thing off! now, was i happy about having a wedding? certainly, did i want to mary Jer? of coarse, was it a lovely exciting affair, i believe it was, but it was stressful! and that is the best description i have of the last week in my life. There were days that the moment i woke i up i immediately wished i could crawl back into bed and hide from the day. those thoughts came more at towards the end of the week and they subsided friday afternoon as i tried to 'live in the moment'. (did i mention i am taking a womens work shop on managing stress and anger while learning assertiveness and how to create healthy boundaries? well i am but that is whole different post) we talked at my workshop about living in the moment. living in the moment to me is scary. [When i live in the moment (meaning i live the way i feel at any given time,) then the people around me get hurt. my words-hurt others, my hands-hurt others, my looks-hurt others, my thoughts-hurt me. Now, i am not an unhappy person and i am not beating my family. but i do smack hands unnecessarily, forcefully place children into car seats or ram hats on heads and hands into mittens, i swear and yell and say inappropriate things, i bully my husband and tell him to leave. (okay i am being very honest here it would seem.) that is what comes to mind when i think of me living in the moment. and that scares the crap out of me. i try very hard not to live in the moment. i try to step outside the moment and use on objectiveness when living. I have learnt to behave this way in my family of origin. neither of my parents were good at managing stress, and surprise, i am not either. BUT i am trying so very hard to learn. i do not want this for myself or for my family. (how did we get onto this topic??? my goodness.)] right! i tried living in the moment, like in the way that you take a deep breathe and enjoy what is. So i enjoyed that it was near impossible to run over this balloon floating on the road, and i enjoyed the quiet of my afternoon as i worked with out children. I rolled with the punches and made the best of things. The weekend was busy. it played out as follows, me scrapbooking friday night (way too much delicious food and not all the right photo's but 2 new friends and time with jenni) Jer kayaking tournament all weekend. Family time at the pool saturday, lunch with friends, parking ticket, work deliveries, skylar time with daddy at the pool before getting fever that lasted all weekend and into today. saturday night became sunday morning before my very eyes as i made cookies for Valentines day and chili for confirmation. both these event took place sunday and jer and i had a date. And then i expected to have a very accomplished family bonding day on family day but it ended up crappy, in the very literal sense, as jer and i had a flu bug or something and ended up having to cut our family day activities with the milners short and opt out of davies family fun all together. BLAGH! today was a bit of an unaccomplished day and tomorrow is only a mere 40 minutes away and has yet to be prepared for. so i had better cut this off. it s kind of a rambling any ways, but i was kind of going for a ramble any how.
tobogganing before we knew how sick we were...





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