flowers for hadassah

usually on the 18th of february, at least the previous 2, we have gone as a family to pick out flowers for hadassah. to remember her short life and to celebrate her going to heaven day. I actually have come to look forward to it and find that it brings me some comfort and peace. a few weeks ago jereme and i talked briefly about today and what we would do since he wasn't going to be around. and i think amongst all the stress he was kinda hoping to just put it on the back burner. i can't say i judge him for this, i can understand not wanting to remember sometimes. but i do remember and i want to take time to do so. i didn't know what i would do about getting flowers and to be honest, i didn't put much focus into it today. i did think of the significance of today and i am taking a moment to remember our child gone too soon, but there are not flowers for haddy on our table this evening. and i am not sure how i feel about that.