hmmm...that was nice.

think about this scene,
being of likeness to GOD, Jesus came to earth as a baby. A mind full of knowledge and a being full of glory. he came to a couple, newly married, already outcast and as a helpless babe. he became a toddler, with so many thoughts and feelings, and no efficient way of sharing them, and so he continued, as human being, through the awkwardness of adolescence, into the young man he was when he was betrayed and crucified. if you are a parent, or a spouse or both or even neither, think of that. if you have held a baby in your arms, you know how fragile they are. how dependant upon others they are for their needs. imagine how humbling that must have been for the king of the world? and if you have had the privilege of interacting with a 2 year old, you know how lovely they can be but also how hard it is for them. they know so much, think so much and feel so much yet are bound by their inability to effectively communicate or be heard. now i doubt that Jesus was having temper tantrums over not getting the last fig, but he was still 2. and imagine being the parents. do you know/remember the growing and challenges of those first years of marriage? now add they fact that you are shunned for having a pregnancy out of wedlock and the knowledge that you are raising the Son of God.
these are some of the thoughts my husband shared in our morning prayer time. and i found them to be breath taking and beautiful. have you prayed with someone lately? you should try it. i forgot how lovely it is.

visitation rights

Last shift at the cup tonight. If you ever wanted to visit me at work and maybe get a free-be, tonight is the night. i will be there till 11!

a good-good night

I had my first thursday for me night. Jereme and i have decided we get to rotate thursday nights for ones self, no strings, 7 rolls around and you are free! tonight was my first one. i went on a lovely girls night with book worm stephy. (bookwormstephy.blogspot.com) we found treasures at good will and then had a heart to heart over caramel correto's and cheesecake. i so needed it. thanks friend! my favorite treasure found @ the g-mart? old school tupperware, you know of the yellow variety with the corrugated top? oh-yeah!
And a happy b-day to L2 (allingoodtiming.blogspot.com) i thought about you all day today and have a prezie for you.
*night-night*
{next post is of an idea i have for fun times for busy ladies.}

high five!

and here are todays top 5!

1. after a 1hr fit, i got Eli to calm down by putting his shoes on. go figure?
2. did a major revamping of our bulk food storage after spending some serious $ and bringing home the goods from the new bulk barn. (if you have one, you gotta go!) it feels so good to organize!



3. left the house with out make up for the first time in weeks. i felt so free!
4. went to skylars show and share night at school. she was so excited to show us her special place.





5. used my new spin shoes (thanks to kijiji) and increased my tension and burned +630cals in 1 hour doing my own class. my instructor would be so proud.
*BONUS*. made a delicious steak sandwhich supper, and did not surcome to any biscotti.

undecided

I am unsure as to where i would like this post to go. there are so many blog ideas zooming around my head at all times. i struggle to narrow it down to which will most satisfy the craving to share. (this is where the previous blogging goals came in handy!) i did up load photo's tonight and it has been a while since there were any photo's. do you remember how i was going to challenge myself to capturing everyday beauty? well i did make several good catches over the last week+. maybe we should go with that?

it started with some sunlight and a jar on the counter...





and then i had E for a day and who doesn't think those eye's are beautiful?



and i was lucky enough to see my sister loads this month and so here is her #4 Beauty. (really! )



and then there was this sun rise that i was blessed to see as a result of Timbers new waking hour of 6:25a.m.



and there was the last of the fall peaches...



sorting through this stack of unopened mail was a beautiful thing indeed!



and there was our week of spring before...




heading back into this winter wonderland. skyli wanted to know if this meant we could do christmas again?



and the thought i have been thinking most today is why do i have days where all i want is sweets? and how P.O'd i am that i have thrown away a diligent tracking day and 75 minute work out on a chocolate biscotti!

answer me this?!

Please dear readers. If you are really out there, answer me this! are all office type jobs a total f-up in the communication department? is there some rule i have not been exposed to living under my mommy, coffee girl rock that says communicating and being clear on who does what when is a joke? have you found this in your work places of past or current? I want to know if I am being unrealistic in my frustration or if i can cry my eyes out and demand better. so please, tell me what you think.

stollen! well, borrowed really

I found this idea on another blog. I think it is okay to use it. maybe i should have checked on that??? i will take my chances.
i really wanted to post and though i have note of blog ideas scribbled all over and a few photos to upload, i found this an appealing way to get some typing out.

CELEBRATING; the completion of my woman's work shop. i did it. i wanted to quit quite honestly at the start, but wise words from both my mom and mama-in-law reset my thinking and i am glad i stuck it out. i am still learning from it and i think that if i stick with the material, it will really help me to create boundaries and exert assertiveness.

SEWING; ha! right. in my dreams i am sewing curtains for the kids room, bags for the bulk store, and for snacks, buttons on clothing, accents on paper for scrap booking.... and the dream continues.

READING(hard cover); still working on the midwives, greengreenergreenest, on economy one for work and the message for lent readings. have i mentioned how good i am at starting books? oh so good at starting books.

READING (on line); i wish i knew how to link from a word to the sites, but i don't. i frequent about 8 blogs regularly. usually before heading up to bed. i will highlight the blog in which i found this fascinating little post idea. and the blog in which i believe she found it for herself. both of which i like a lot. and i will list them in that order.
http://clutterpunk.blogspot.com/
http://apronstringz.wordpress.com/

note: i particularly enjoy apron strings most recent post on getting out of the house, wasting time on the net and the dinner hour. this captures my thoughts on the subjects quite nicely!

RUNNING; late for bed. i am not sure when this post will say it was put up b/c that time always wrong, but it is in fact 10 to midnight as i type.

OBSESSING OVER; 1. day timers and trying to gain some order to my days
2. finding spin shoes that are comfy, nice looking and affordable

THINKING; a lot about friendship lately. about old friends new friends, where some go, and why i don't know where. how others are always there. why some friendships are like jr high relationships now when we are approaching our 30's? about reconnecting with some, forgetting about others. do i want to be my kids friend and parent. can i be both? what is friendship over just being buddies? are my sisters my friends or are we just immeshed sisters? or are we just good sisters? can i be friends with my parents or is that asking for therapy? i am thinking a lot about friendship

work it

sooo tired tonight, but wanted to post.
if you know me in real life then you no doubt know that one of my biggest vices, is the entirety of Hawksley workman.
[go to www.hawksleyworkman.com] tonight i got to see the man live for the 10th time! ( more if you count the side stages at folk fest ;p) this was a super event in my week. and i needed it! i am not sure what was the highlight, the great music, the funny stories of touring and child hood anecdotes, or the bedazzled tye-dye jump suit. one things for sure, it was, as always, amusing and inspiring. i will take the man up on his offer to start making new mistakes. as his neighbor told him to do. the old ones are become mundane and a drag.


if you haven't heard the songs, you should. the lyrics always get me at some level.
one of my favorites of late =

Lyrics to We'll Make Time (Even When There Ain't No Time) :

I never cried so much
You've been taking me apart
You gonna put me back together?
You gonna start me from the start?

I've been wrecking my blood
Been wrecking my brains
Been killing my heart
I've been living with the pain

Cause when we fight sometimes
When we're clawing at each other
Got to think it's all for something at the end of all the trouble
Got to build something to last
Not to let it crumble fast
Want to be the ones left standing
After all the time has passed

And if I'm feeling unplugged
Feeling swept under the rug
Need to hold the lantern for me
Need to pick me back up
Want to remember all the things that we said we want to do
Don't want to start to pull away
Cause it's easier to do
When you look at something ugly that you thought you hid away
When it's coming back to haunt you on an unsuspecting day
We're going to be the harbor where we can just tie our little boats
A place to fight off all the lions that keep gnashing at our throats

Everybody that we trust says it's harder than it looks
Something good's a constant struggle when there's a tree there to be shook
Better believe the wind will blow
It'll try to push you down
It'll try to pull your roots
And leave you lying on the ground...

We'll make time even when there ain't no time
And we'll make love in the middle of the night...

I hope we're older someday
And we've grown so much
I hope that we still feel the warmth there
In our kiss and in our touch
Cause the world is against you
When you're after something true
(Is forever really true?)
It ain't the fashion to be faithful
Even though it's hard to do
And it's true sometimes
Even the good ones fall away
You have to keep the fire burning every night and every day
I know it's pretty old fashioned
Is forever really true?

But when I say that you're for me
And baby, baby I'm for you
And though the grass is always greener but you still have to cut it
And the scars you get together
Are the scars you really covet
And at night when we are lovers
And we're mucking up the covers
And it's all about our eyes
And we've forgotten all the others
When we're laying there in silence
In the comfort and the quiet
And you hold me as we fall asleep
In the corners of the night
And though we say it on the phone
Out in public or alone
And then we write it down in letters
When the other one's not home...
[ We'll Make Time (Even When There Ain't No Time) Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

***oh and the run was a non event. no registration on race day. so i guess for me it will 10*09*10.
night.***

boldly going

so i did it! i gave my two weeks notice today at the cup. it felt good. one less thing to juggle. and tomorrow, it turns out that i may be running my first 10k "race". i was supposed to be doing something else, but that fell through, so assuming i can do a last minute registration, i will join my friend marni and a group of gals aiming for 10*10*10 ( ten 10k runs in 2010) i actually hope this works out. it would like to do that. i am felling a little more like me today too, and that is so much nicer than the sad bottled up person i was last week. i will keep you posted on the runs.

carbonation

today it feels like a pop bottle. big two liter. that has been all shook up, you know so the bottle is really firm?! and i am debating whether it would be a good idea to open the cap. and if so a little bit and then close, repeat. or to just to let it all go?
(thanks for your words)

honesty

if you want to know the truth,
i am sad inside.
i do not know why,
i do not know when it came,
i do not know when it will go,
but there it is.
i feel
defeated
and broken down.
and the things
i would love to do
are of no interest to me.
i can not seem to will this away
or to push it down.
i will take it as a season
and
cry
it
out
until
the grey clouds have lifted
and the sun shines in again.
so there you have it.

overcome

So to help me let go and get into a good space, last night after turning off the computer i grabbed my old friend (dslr) and snapped a few photo's. it didn't take long and i felt accomplished and saw things thru the lens. i haven't done that lately and photography is my passion. it was another way to gain new perspective. my house was in disaray and this helped me to see the beauty in a house that was well lived in these last few days. little marks and reminders of the children, like signatures on art work, strewn all about.




and the last of the apples from fall market all washed and ready to enjoy! yum-yum.



and this ties in nicely to the blog goal. i am starting a little me project. hopefully this weekend. i will spend one week seeing the beauty of everyday and i will photograph these things and share them with you. whoever you are.
and the next blog goal in addition to that is about fitness and nutrition. how am i doing at shedding those xmas pounds?
good night now!

this is all i got

So this will short and sweet.
the rashes are different stages of the strep virus. (go figure!) and now all 4 of us are the anti antibiotic users.
the plans for looking at things differently will have to wait until another day.

there has been a tornado move through our house tonight and though i saw the warnings, i was not prepared and i am in the midst of cleaning up the devastating after math. don't make a fuss now, this is just a part of what has become our life. there is joy in the hopes of tomorrow. good night.

untitled

Well, lets see here. there are no photos of our house hold accomplishments because we didn't have any. accomplishments that is. and the fun filled part, well it was fun to a lesser degree than anticipated. at first i was really cheesed about this. and my post would have gone something like...
as you may recall from a post i had in november, it would seem that our family is destined for the hard road, the disappointed road. it would seem that life always pours us a glass half empty and that we are destined for difficult times. the long awaited for weekend of accomplishment and fun time was counteracted by a nasty case of (suspected) strep throat which left me tired and irritable. we had a good time friday night but by saturday morning it was hard to swallow and by noon i had a fever, aches and chills. i started a homeopathic treatment and i laid in a hot bath for an hour or more before moving to the couch where i slept for hours. so much for good conversation or food. i couldn't open my mouth to speak and i had to force my self to swallow the natural build up saliva. we canceled the dinner reservation and planned on a night in. but a witch brew and few ib profin later i was feeling some relief so we headed out with friends to a different restaurant and then played some games, but by the time dessert had been eaten, it hit me ten fold. By sunday morning i was crying in agony and after a sneeze left me convinced that i blown out part of my pallet, i let Jereme take me to the dr. instead of out to brunch and for a nice walk as planned. we were turned away from medi-centre one as they were passed max capacity. (seriously???) and at the next one there was one dr. on and 9 people ahead of us. what's your guess for wait time? come on make a guess. my guess was 1.5 hrs. jers guess was 50 min. would you believe it took 2 hours 20 minutes to see the guy? I spent most of this time sleeping on jers shoulder while he read the only magazine in the room. (some lame canadian parenting thing.) and since when do they not allow t.v in the waiting room? hello it was the gold medal game people!!! we were ticked. so a 'say awe' and a 'does this hurt" later i had a RX for antibiotics and t3's. then came the wait at the pharmacy and eventually we ended up at moms house to retrieve the children and catch the end of the game. (YAY CANADA!!!) i felt like death and jer took the kids home while i had a nap in my moms soaker tub for 1hr 45 minutes. (yes, i slept in the tub.) I won't bore with more useless details except to say that it was hard to come home to children who wanted me when, even if i had wanted to snuggle and hold them, i was much too contagious to be in contact with them. and inevitably, the house was a disaster after 2 hours with daddy.
all these things made me so angry and i found my thoughts going to the place where they usually go after these events. to the 'we always get the shaft' thoughts. and then i remembered some of the lessons i have been learning in this lents reflections. and about how those thoughts and feelings are not of gentle nature.
So in addition to the facts above i would like to say this;
I am thankful for my parents watching the kids so we could have a weekend of no children. this meant i could rest and focus on health with out having to focus on them. my husband too could spend time with me while i was ill as a result in stead of having to solely care for our children. we are so fortunate to live in place where we pay next to nothing for our health care and our system is not corrupt. we have blue cross and therefor paid only $4 for my RX. we enjoyed the company of good friends and watched good movies and funny t.v. we laughed together and enjoyed just being near one another. those are all wonderful things. and heck, we even saved some money by missing out on a few things. the glass is half full.

next blog= the answer to the question of why my children have a funky rash? and plans for a week of observing differently.