sep-tem-blur

I meant to, I really did, to post something substantial throughout the last month. considering september is a pretty active month around here. but alas, life took more out of me than i anticipated.

september consisted of the following...

my peach started grade 1!



I trained for my bike ride with friends


and then kicked @$$ on the 158km ride



then miss sky turned 6 and i had 4 giggly girls celebrating with a pink pampered princess party




And the wee mr started pre-school, ahhh so fast...



these little cold lake people celebrated their 1st birthday's



i fell more and more in love with biking, did 60k around pigeon lake




and this last weekend matt (above) & i did canmore to banff & back in +26C!!! Ya baby!

a plus side

the good thing about crying for a day and a half is that I have the kind of friends who will pick me up ice cream and run it to my door with a smile and bear hug. no judgment and no questions asked! they're good like that.

can i just say...

i just want to say,
and excuse my french....

but sometimes life is just a big fucking disappointment!

more on that later.

i see beauty

the truth be known, i am in a bit of mess with life these days. but i am holding my head up high and i have been capturing beauty on my iphone. sharing the moments here!

Pedal head

'Hello fellow bloggers-ers. I wanted to let you know that I am planing to take part in this years Young Life (YL) Iron Bike fundraiser. (read INSANITY!!!)
This is a road bike of over 150km through the Rockies on September 11th. My goal is to raise $1500 for YL. Please visit http://www.younglife.ca/netcommunity/lynsae
to learn more. Would you prayerfully/mindfully consider giving in this way? Feel free to discuss with me!

Felion-K9

Skylar needs clean underpants, I head to the laundry room and get them. Upon leaving the laundry room my dog,Myka, is blocking the exit snout down rooting behind the recycle box. I try to encourage her to move, and eventually nudge her with my leg. And low & behold, in her mouth is a mouse! A MOUSE!!! So I scream, she drops it, I jump.... Then I call her back and say "get it!" so the loyal girl she is, that's what she does! It's then I notice the trap on it's tail! She now has it at the bottom of the stairs which the children are curiously climbing down. I am traped in the laundry room yelling for them to stay put, timber is telling me no while I am very sternly saying yes! All the while myka stands between us, her victim under her stance. Then the mouse moves again, myka pounces-I scream-timber cries... I eventually get a box from the recycle, cover the mouse and quickly move upstairs. my four legged hero remains lying in front of her kill. Skylar wants us to kill it with a kitchen knife and then examine it for teeth wounds! Yeah, like that's gonna happen!

Too much excitment for me. It will remain under the box until the man of the house returns from his expedition!

i forgot

i forgot about all these photos from my i phone. heres what we have been up to since around the end of school...

this hillarious photo of timber on the potty

a picnic with aunty B and Saiche


skyli got her ears pierced for end school. so brave she was!


and she attended her first VBS


we had a day of oli parker.

saw the capital X parade

and did our first bike ride to the library. a 15 minute trip in stroller that took 1hr +5 mins!!

Learn something new

Here's a leason you all can learn via my opps!
1: DO NOT put your phone into your pocket when using the toilet or assisting others to use the toilet.
2: WHEN the iPhone that you placed in your pocket falls out into the toilet, DO reach in after it immediatly & if need be DO give it mouth to phone ressesitation!
3: apparently you should NOT try turning it or be pushing buttons repeditivly. but you should put it in a bag of rice for 2 days and then it should dry out and work for you!
4: say thanks to your friends who said iPhone prayers because it works again & review lesson1!

(FYI ityped this on my restored iPhone!)

more oldies but goodies.

here are a few more photos from the last few months that i'd intended for sharing.



those are from the easter walk we did with friends through the inner city,

and here are the davies cousins all gathered. pre baby girl #4 for M&K.

a visit with ethan and...

just b/c he is so dang cute!

there, all caught up. we didn't do road trip tuesday today, thrown of by the long weekend. i do believe i will add it into thursdays planned adventure of thrifty thursdays.

now & then

everybody needs a fresh start every now & then. did you see the new layouts? i {heart} them! it was hard to narrow it down, but i have been thinking about this blog a lot lately and about how it is called wee davies, not me davies. and i want to try to focus a bit more on us as a whole family. so though i liked many of the different designs, this was more reflective of us as a wee. what do you think?

also time to play a little catch up in the photo dept.

NOW
(the trip to alberta beach...)





THEN
(the long awaited easter photo's...)







also, now is the day we celebrate Jereme's birth. the then was 29 years ago. Happy Birthday darling, we love you very,very,very,very,very,very much!

Road trip Tuesdays.

I always have these sweet dreams of summer break. Accomplishing much, doing little, laughing, playing, visiting, reading and napping. all seem very likely until the reality of the everyday reminds me otherwise. But with the first 3 weeks of summer vacay done, I am planing for fun from here on in.
Firstly, I took the rest of the summer "off" so to speak. I will answer my phone and redirect emails but as far as live-local work goes, that's it!
Secondly, I spent an evening with great company, in Puddle boots trompsing thru the fields at j&j's farm last week. So refreshing!!!
Thirdly, I am designating certain fun things for certain days of the week and we started roadtrip Tuesdays today.

Our road adventure lead us to Alberta beach. Once I got over the shock of the disapearing lake, ( a common problem in these parts which grips my enviromentalist heart strings) the wee ones and I quite enjoyed ourselves. We took a long country road to and fro and enjoyed songs, gum, a picnic lunch and digging in the sand.

Photos to come. I plan to do a bit of a photo catching up here as part of he summer funness!
Stay tuned. And if you are In the mood, and available, we've got room in our auto for one more next tuesday.

Oh mr sandman

Too upset to sleep, I lay here with burning eyes and a pounding headache at 23 after 1a.m.
These are the nights I wish my mommys bed was just down the hall for a snuggle.

I know it is far and few between posts these days and some of you wonder how I am faring?! I am coping. That's the most accurate response I can give.

The ER

I ,@ this moment, find myself in the emergency room for the second time in the last 1.5weeks. I Loath ER! The last trip had me taking my panic ridden, barely breathing father to the Alec . I really hate it there because that is where under the direction of a ccrotchety nurse, and against my better judgement, I lost my baby and no choice but to flush her tiny, very tiny, being down a hospital toilet. I hate the Alec.

Tonight I find myself at the U. Typically not a trigger for me. Other than the fact that Gran died here, I find it a decent place. It is the place that saved my husband as a child and likewise my Timby, but it is an ER. And the wait is insane!
Sitting here, catching up on email and bogs, ( yay iPhone) a frantic couple comes in. And I know, even before I see the blood and cots dripping down her legs and soaking through her beautiful skirt, she is loosing her child.
That's what I find the most hard, that in any moment, on any given day-BOOM! There is the memory, there come the tears, the pain & the nurses snarky voice saying " well you could go home, but if you could save this pregnancy, wouldn't you want to at least try?"

I LOATH the ER!

Lynsae?

Come out - come out wherever you are!
One day I will return when I feel I can. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
I am just too busy and overtaken by life that I just Have nothing else to offer up.

i do declare!

so, my birthday gift to myself was a week of nothing unnecessary. (i am a BIG fan of the birthday week.)
no calorie counting,
no more work than i had to tend to,
staying up late and sleeping till noon this weekend,
and eating whatever i wanted in mass quantities.
BUT...
i declare an end to such frivalties, as enjoyable as all those events were, all good things must come to an end. i do, in fact, crave the routine i often strive for. i would like to use this next month, my first month of my 29th year, to gain balance and consistency to my days. and to my body-mind-spirit while i am at it.

05/25/1982

FINALLY, after forty-three weeks of waiting, i graced the world with my presence. My mom must of had her dates wrong b/c i was three weeks late. yikes! since my babes have come early, i can not fathom 40 or more weeks of pregnancy.
but needless to say, it has set the president for my life as i am still usually running late.

Thank you to all who sent me voice mails, texts, emails and cards. it was a really nice day and i enjoyed it. had a massage (thanks to sweet emma's free babysitting), got gorgeous flowers and a movie night out, saw friends and of coarse ate whatever i wanted in mass quantities!

and the birthday week will continue on. we love to celebrate! but the eating needs to settle down. i feel a bit like sausage.

matters of the heart

so i have been in a funk, right?
things just seem off and not balanced.
well i happen to be privileged enough to have this cousin who is a reflexologist/raki master/yoga instructor/nurse (almost)/great listener/calming. so i asked him to come over and heck me out.
the diagnosis? well, the quick answer is that my heart chakra is out?
YOUR WHAT? IS WHAT? WHAT THE...???
(i don't know what your thinking is on alternative treatment, but i am a convert. though that is a different story for another day.)
anyways, here is a snippit from a web page i googled.

When the heart centre has been fully opened, it becomes the channel for Universal Love; what the Buddhists call Mahakaruna ot "the Great Compassion", and esoteric Christians and Theosophists the "Christ Consciousness". Once opened, the Higher Self or Immortal Divine Soul is able to work through this centre. This is probably why in so many cultures the heart is said to be the seat of the soul.

there was lots of other good insight on this site and others, but i really connected with how this brought about the Christ Consciousness.
i mean, i am not all that surprised that my heart chakra is 'off'. i am glad to have some direction and insight on where to start. so amongst some other things, i am making a list of things i need to do to set right my heart. the list is good, but will have to wait for next week as i am spending this week celebrating my birth, getting the house ready for a party and having a garage sale. you know, keeping it low key.

so i will let you know how the heart to heart works out. cus i am telling myself y'all care so much.

because i have to write something

CELEBRATING: nothing this week. which is odd because we have a multitude of may celebrations including my birthday! last week we celebrated many things, adrians return from war as one of them.
SEWING: the pieces of my life back together. this is taking more effort than i anticipated and it seems i am 'all thumbs'. (and i have a lousy thimble it would seem as well.)
READING (hard copy):not much of anything other than night time stories to the children.
READING ( online):
mostly just things work related. tonight was my first online encounter with the real world in about a week+.
RUNNING:
has been great! i started my 10K's. i am one race behind the team, but have done well. last sunday marni & i did it in 1hr 10min's, and this sunday we ran it in 1hr 5min's. that feels good. it's the only time i seem to have clarity these days. because i am ...
OBSESSING OVER:everything. money, time, decisions, food, children, the house, jobs etc... the list goes on and on and...
THINKING:
too much, i suspect. especially about the unimportant things and not enough about the right ones.

thanks for checking in here. i will post the easter pics some day. and i will get through this. i will! i will!

i am still living...

i am still living. though it is a bit of merely passing through. life's kinda been the shits these days. (i can say that 'cus it's my blog and i am a grown up!) on top of the unexpected death and how it has left my family reeling, we since have had our car broken into, registration and pink card stolen, more sickness, and an MS attack with my Dad. (who is now parked on my sofa.) i have had about all i can handle. if i knew how to link you over to a post i did on november i would but i don't so go searching if you desire. it was about how my family seems to be a magnet for kaos. discussing this with a friend the other day, she painted me a nicer picture by saying,'think of the great plans the lord must have for you? because it is obvious that satan despises you!' so to that i say, HA! despise away you stealer of life, mine can not be taken so easily.
that being said, it is a bit wearing. my heart is still a little heavier than i like it but i am trying to put on a new face for may. i am calling it the month what MAYbe. i am wiling to accept all that comes my way and in the spirit of my gran, i will choose to make the best out of what i've got. that is what she did. she stood firm in the face of life's challenges and said, 'this will be just fine if i make it so.'

thank you for that my sweet marion jones.

this is the letter/poem i read to her at the funeral;

for teaching me...

thank you gran, for teaching me...
to garden,
to help things grow,
to keep trying until you get and to start with potatoes

for teaching me...
to use all that there is to the fruit
to cut away the bruises and look past the blemishes to see all that is still good
nothing should be a waste
to can fruit and preserve the harvest
that i can fit more peaches in by cutting in 1/8 not 1/4

for teaching me...
love is a choice
it is never too late to choose it
i will have to likely make the choice again and again
but that family can not be broken
to make the best of every situation
that it is all in how you choose to look at it

thank you gran, for teaching me...
the importance of tweezing
taming the beast (our hair)
to be well groomed, nicely dressed and presentable

thank you for my...
photographic memory
frugal nature and every penny counts attitude
a desire for a simple life and simple things
perseverance
refusal to conform
and being a night owl
with striking blue eyes and a love of pearls.

thank you gran for loving me!

look at this classic beauty in 1948. stunning!



and this photo of her and i was taken after skylars christmas concert this year. we were at a second cup and i ordered her a vanilla bean. i will never forget how much she enjoyed it and how she was so thriled i refused to accept her order of 'just a small black coffee dear.'



i will really miss her. i wasn't ready to let her go.

and just like that...

...she is gone.
thank you for your prayers.
Gran left about 20 minutes after my last post.
we are journeying through the next chapter now.


love you Gran!

time to go

Please pray that my Gran will let go tonight and that we can move on to the next chapter in this journey.
It is hard to see and she has nothing left.
Thank You!

the worst day

not easter pics.
i have a fever of 102.2
skylar has 101.7
we were up through the night.
timbers cough is still bad and he is now vomiting.
they both have diareha.
lot's of crying and mopping.
i have a return of strep and possibly mono.
we are camping out at moms because jereme, 1: hates sickness 2: is sick himself like all of our ailments combined.
plus there is t.v here!
i wish i could say that mom was helping me out and i know she would be if she wasn't at the hospital right now.
she found her own mother unconscious today when she went to get her for an appointment.
she had a stroke sometime through the night and wasn't found until this afternoon. she is unresponsive and in a coma. we are hoping she will wake up and are waiting on more details from a stroke specialist. but it doesn't look all that good.
my heart is heavy and i feel yucki, i am wiping more bums and cleaning up more puke that i have in a long time. i am hot and cold. overwhelmed and alone. and i can not let myself cry as it really hurts my throat.
this is right up there with one of the worst days ever. next to one day on our family vacation 3 summers ago. if you know that story good, if not, even better.

past, present, future

PAST:
so easter happened. yay! easter. we had a nice low key weekend. jer took the whole off it of which was nice. we went on a prayer walk through the inner city on good friday and then spent the day with mom & bobo. we also celebrated the goodness of jer's school marks. saturday was a saturday if i recall. skyli and daddy went to the service at church, which she loved b/c there were flags and dancing and painting. and then lauren came to sleepover. she was woken at the break of dawn by an excited little girl. so bizzare. she is not usually that excited-up@6-canwepleaseopenggs- kind of girl. we read the easter story and had an egg hunt. went to church, and then to the family resurrection party (that is also james' birthday.)
and we went to camrose for the monday to see the davies3. it was nice. last week ethan visited and the whole thing just kind of disappeared on me before i knew it.

PRESENT:
today i found myself again cursing and running around in a manic state trying to get our asses out the mother f-ing door. i do not, for the life of me, know an easier way to get us going. i prepare, i plan, i get stuff ready the night before. if i get up earlier, the kids get up earlier. if we are on time then timber seems to have this pressing need to de-rail it by insisting on wearing shorts out. (too cold) taking off his clothes while i gather last minute items or refusing some other necessity like a coat or footwear. these moment bring out the worst in me. the mean mommy beast rears her ugly head and i despise that! and the icing on the cake, (literally) is when i grab the perfect outfit that i planned for myself to say 'hi world, i am responsible and grown up, listen to what i have to say' only to go and fasten the troussers and find the button hole just won't meet the darn button. (see previous post and comments section.) onto the next pair, and the next pair... YIKES! i really gotta get this weight back off! Note to self, NO icing today! and then when i find the pants that do fit, i then dig through my massive pile of laundry strewn about my room, (the one room i have relinquished for [what should be] sanity) in search of an appropriate top. more mother f-ing and i am a crazy woman yelling at her children and driving like a bat out of you know where to get skylar to school just in time to get on the bus for her field trip only to run timber in the other direction to his first day at child care. (25 minutes late!)
and it was then,
at that moment,
while i stood in the foyer of the day care, unsure of where to go, what to do, or who to ask for, with bags, blankets and a sweet 2 year old sleepy head in my arms, i lost all control and the flood gates opened and i just started crying. (borderline sobbing actually!) and i felt like a.. like a child. unable to reason with my emotions and not clear on what they were. *sigh*
i wonder sometimes if i will ever get this sorted out? will i get places on time? will i not yell my children out the door? will i make it through a day with out so much drama?
and tomorrow i will make an attempt at it all again. well at least i saved laurens life today! she nearly suffered death by spin wheel. (more on that later.)

FUTURE:
oh the places we will go.
i am trying to be more intentional about where we are headed. where i am headed. i am setting goals big and small for my moments, days, weeks and so on. i am trying to create space and time to accomplish them. i am setting up boundaries and routine and confinds in my day-to-day because i do so much better that way. i like to have a box and work with in it's limits... well sort of, but i need to be incharge of picking the box, it's color, size, material... and the lid needs to stay off.
also the future will have pictures of easter for you to see. i am just too lazy to go get my camera and upload right now. it is midnight.

addicted!

Please do not give me chocolate. do not give me anything with icing on it either. i had a good plan and realistic goals about this easter weekend. and i tried to centre my heart on the events and the crucifiction/resurection,
but the sweetie's won.
i am an addict!
the stuff is like crack for me. i think i can have just one. but when there is so much of it around i loose all self control. i have gone off the deep end and i need to come back.(and this will not be an easy swim.)
i probably kissed a few weeks worth of hard work in the weight loss department good bye. not to mention, i did not practice the fruit of gentlesness and self control all that whole heartidly either and that is a sure sign of my problem.
unable to see where the choclate road will lead me and not really caring what i will sabotage in it's wake.
so this is my cry for help. as a general rule,
do not give me sweeties!!!
more on easter in the days to come.
HE IS RISEN! HE IS RISEN INDEED!

hmmm...that was nice.

think about this scene,
being of likeness to GOD, Jesus came to earth as a baby. A mind full of knowledge and a being full of glory. he came to a couple, newly married, already outcast and as a helpless babe. he became a toddler, with so many thoughts and feelings, and no efficient way of sharing them, and so he continued, as human being, through the awkwardness of adolescence, into the young man he was when he was betrayed and crucified. if you are a parent, or a spouse or both or even neither, think of that. if you have held a baby in your arms, you know how fragile they are. how dependant upon others they are for their needs. imagine how humbling that must have been for the king of the world? and if you have had the privilege of interacting with a 2 year old, you know how lovely they can be but also how hard it is for them. they know so much, think so much and feel so much yet are bound by their inability to effectively communicate or be heard. now i doubt that Jesus was having temper tantrums over not getting the last fig, but he was still 2. and imagine being the parents. do you know/remember the growing and challenges of those first years of marriage? now add they fact that you are shunned for having a pregnancy out of wedlock and the knowledge that you are raising the Son of God.
these are some of the thoughts my husband shared in our morning prayer time. and i found them to be breath taking and beautiful. have you prayed with someone lately? you should try it. i forgot how lovely it is.

visitation rights

Last shift at the cup tonight. If you ever wanted to visit me at work and maybe get a free-be, tonight is the night. i will be there till 11!

a good-good night

I had my first thursday for me night. Jereme and i have decided we get to rotate thursday nights for ones self, no strings, 7 rolls around and you are free! tonight was my first one. i went on a lovely girls night with book worm stephy. (bookwormstephy.blogspot.com) we found treasures at good will and then had a heart to heart over caramel correto's and cheesecake. i so needed it. thanks friend! my favorite treasure found @ the g-mart? old school tupperware, you know of the yellow variety with the corrugated top? oh-yeah!
And a happy b-day to L2 (allingoodtiming.blogspot.com) i thought about you all day today and have a prezie for you.
*night-night*
{next post is of an idea i have for fun times for busy ladies.}

high five!

and here are todays top 5!

1. after a 1hr fit, i got Eli to calm down by putting his shoes on. go figure?
2. did a major revamping of our bulk food storage after spending some serious $ and bringing home the goods from the new bulk barn. (if you have one, you gotta go!) it feels so good to organize!



3. left the house with out make up for the first time in weeks. i felt so free!
4. went to skylars show and share night at school. she was so excited to show us her special place.





5. used my new spin shoes (thanks to kijiji) and increased my tension and burned +630cals in 1 hour doing my own class. my instructor would be so proud.
*BONUS*. made a delicious steak sandwhich supper, and did not surcome to any biscotti.